OMG. No really. OH. MY. GOD(S). This is the best little piece of cross-paired fiction I have read...EVER.
I know I'm supposed to give conrit. I do. But really, the only thing I can actually suggest is that you MUST keep writing this story. You just can't leave them there on the beach... with the whole ending of BSG, and Lost, and all the craziness of the two series wrapped up. THIS must be a new AU story.
There. That's the concrit. Get writing.
You're not done.
Now, what I love about it.
Little phrases like: She faced death at his hands the first day they met, it’s true. An honest mistake, she’ll say a long time later. She’ll laugh and he won’t smile... Loved that! Such a concise little understated bit of backstory which suggest that this is only just a little snapshot of a much longer and involved storyline.
Beautifully lyrical imagery such as... the laugh of a person whose existence was raw and filled with nothing but jagged edges... and then... Her head popped up above the water, short hair now a dark cap in the moonlight... a pale shape diving into the dark water I absolutely love those descriptions. They are so rich and lovely!
Also loved the characterizations of both Kara and Sayid; both so deadly and untrusting. Similar and polar opposite in many ways. (The fact that they are two of my fave characters also helps.) You've really captured them spot on. *applauds*
And lastly, the suggestion that the story has so much more coming up. The ending... But the real question, the question you have to ask yourself, is Are you coming back?” Kara opens her eyes and doesn’t see the stars but she knows they’re there. And this time, she knows the answer. Oh that is just so goddamn good! Eeeeee!!! *spins you around*
Wow! Absolutely amazing little story. Didn't feel forced at all, and it makes perfect sense given both the universes of BSG and of Lost. Really, tremendously well done. YAY!!!!
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sforzinda
Completely AMAZING story!
Date: 2010-06-22 03:51 pm (UTC)I know I'm supposed to give conrit. I do. But really, the only thing I can actually suggest is that you MUST keep writing this story. You just can't leave them there on the beach... with the whole ending of BSG, and Lost, and all the craziness of the two series wrapped up. THIS must be a new AU story.
There. That's the concrit. Get writing.
You're not done.
Now, what I love about it.
Little phrases like: She faced death at his hands the first day they met, it’s true. An honest mistake, she’ll say a long time later. She’ll laugh and he won’t smile... Loved that! Such a concise little understated bit of backstory which suggest that this is only just a little snapshot of a much longer and involved storyline.
Beautifully lyrical imagery such as... the laugh of a person whose existence was raw and filled with nothing but jagged edges... and then... Her head popped up above the water, short hair now a dark cap in the moonlight... a pale shape diving into the dark water I absolutely love those descriptions. They are so rich and lovely!
Also loved the characterizations of both Kara and Sayid; both so deadly and untrusting. Similar and polar opposite in many ways. (The fact that they are two of my fave characters also helps.) You've really captured them spot on. *applauds*
And lastly, the suggestion that the story has so much more coming up. The ending... But the real question, the question you have to ask yourself, is Are you coming back?” Kara opens her eyes and doesn’t see the stars but she knows they’re there. And this time, she knows the answer. Oh that is just so goddamn good! Eeeeee!!! *spins you around*
Wow! Absolutely amazing little story. Didn't feel forced at all, and it makes perfect sense given both the universes of BSG and of Lost. Really, tremendously well done. YAY!!!!
You win... my KateeWOW gif!