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shah_of_blahSo rose_griffes posted a link to this mad-lib style drabble generator thing and...it proved very entertaining for me, far more so than my work. I saved a few of my results.
(sadly, I did not provide any of the words in that last sentence)
(And on that note, I say good night.)
rose_griffes posted a link to this mad-lib style drabble generator thing and...it proved very entertaining for me, far more so than my work. I saved a few of my results.A Sexual Occurrence
Kara paced up and down, jiggling her ass. Her very good friend, Mary Sue Polygon, had arranged to meet her here under a rock. "I have something blasphemous to tell you," she had said.
Mary Sue Polygon was late, which was very unlike her. Any moment now, Kara expected to see her bounce up, her correct hair streaming behind her and her tangible eyes aglow.
Kara heard footsteps, but they seemed rather parallel for a delicate and artificial girl like Mary Sue Polygon, whose tread was purple. She turned around and found Lee staring at her.
"What are you doing here?" Lee said madly. "I thought you said you didn't want to see me again."
Kara had said that, but now she was beginning to wish she hadn't acted so sanctimoniously. "Mary Sue Polygon asked to meet me here." As she gazed at Lee, her toe began to throb loudly.
"Oh," Lee said, devilishly. "I'll just go then."
"Wait," Kara said and caught Lee by his ear. "I was wrong. I still love you. Can you ever forgive me?"
"Yes," Lee said, smiling. They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed, like a fly in a spider's web.
From behind a horoscope, Mary Sue Polygon watched with a scruffy light in her obtuse eyes. She took a list out of her pocket, and checked off "Kara/Lee". Then, she skipped off to help an embittered man find love again, just as soon as she'd saved the anteater from extinction.
Kara paced up and down, jiggling her ass. Her very good friend, Mary Sue Polygon, had arranged to meet her here under a rock. "I have something blasphemous to tell you," she had said.
Mary Sue Polygon was late, which was very unlike her. Any moment now, Kara expected to see her bounce up, her correct hair streaming behind her and her tangible eyes aglow.
Kara heard footsteps, but they seemed rather parallel for a delicate and artificial girl like Mary Sue Polygon, whose tread was purple. She turned around and found Lee staring at her.
"What are you doing here?" Lee said madly. "I thought you said you didn't want to see me again."
Kara had said that, but now she was beginning to wish she hadn't acted so sanctimoniously. "Mary Sue Polygon asked to meet me here." As she gazed at Lee, her toe began to throb loudly.
"Oh," Lee said, devilishly. "I'll just go then."
"Wait," Kara said and caught Lee by his ear. "I was wrong. I still love you. Can you ever forgive me?"
"Yes," Lee said, smiling. They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed, like a fly in a spider's web.
From behind a horoscope, Mary Sue Polygon watched with a scruffy light in her obtuse eyes. She took a list out of her pocket, and checked off "Kara/Lee". Then, she skipped off to help an embittered man find love again, just as soon as she'd saved the anteater from extinction.
1000 Patriarchy Giraffes
Kara paced sexually back and forth. Sparkly dread filled her heart. Lee should have been home at least an hour ago and it wasn't like him to be late. Oh, my coarse love, Kara thought. Where could you be?
Just then, the phone rang. It was the police. Lee had been taken hostage by Exemplary Elbow, a supervillain who had the city in a state of transformative terror. Kara fainted dead away, like a memory blowing in the wind.
When she came to, there was a bump on her ass and the sparkly dread had returned. "Lee, my pointy honey bunny," she cried out morosely. "What is Exemplary Elbow doing to you?" Probably torturing him, laughing miraculously as he scorched him in the eyebrow.
In the midst of all the terror and tears, Kara remembered a story her grandmother had told her. If you fold 1000 patriarchy giraffes, then whatever you wish for will come true.
Kara ordered in a supply of patriarchy and set to work, folding giraffes until her ass was sore and she could hardly see. It took a week. She was just finishing up the very last giraffe when Lee walked in the front door.
"Lee!" Kara screamed and threw herself into Lee's arms. "It worked! I folded 1000 patriarchy giraffes and it brought you back to me." She was so happy, she felt like she was dancing in a bed. She kissed Lee marvelously on the eyebrow.
"Actually," Lee said, pulling away merrily, "I was rescued by the Smelly Prong. She's a new superhero in town." Lee sighed. "And she's really gilded."
The sparkly dread came back. "But you're hot to be back here with me, right?"
Lee checked his watch. "Sure. But I've got to go meet the Smelly Prong for coffee now to, you know, say thanks for saving my life. Stay homoerotic, baby." He left and the door banged behind him.
Kara choked back a sob and started folding another giraffe. Then she went out and got drunk instead.
Kara paced sexually back and forth. Sparkly dread filled her heart. Lee should have been home at least an hour ago and it wasn't like him to be late. Oh, my coarse love, Kara thought. Where could you be?
Just then, the phone rang. It was the police. Lee had been taken hostage by Exemplary Elbow, a supervillain who had the city in a state of transformative terror. Kara fainted dead away, like a memory blowing in the wind.
When she came to, there was a bump on her ass and the sparkly dread had returned. "Lee, my pointy honey bunny," she cried out morosely. "What is Exemplary Elbow doing to you?" Probably torturing him, laughing miraculously as he scorched him in the eyebrow.
In the midst of all the terror and tears, Kara remembered a story her grandmother had told her. If you fold 1000 patriarchy giraffes, then whatever you wish for will come true.
Kara ordered in a supply of patriarchy and set to work, folding giraffes until her ass was sore and she could hardly see. It took a week. She was just finishing up the very last giraffe when Lee walked in the front door.
"Lee!" Kara screamed and threw herself into Lee's arms. "It worked! I folded 1000 patriarchy giraffes and it brought you back to me." She was so happy, she felt like she was dancing in a bed. She kissed Lee marvelously on the eyebrow.
"Actually," Lee said, pulling away merrily, "I was rescued by the Smelly Prong. She's a new superhero in town." Lee sighed. "And she's really gilded."
The sparkly dread came back. "But you're hot to be back here with me, right?"
Lee checked his watch. "Sure. But I've got to go meet the Smelly Prong for coffee now to, you know, say thanks for saving my life. Stay homoerotic, baby." He left and the door banged behind him.
Kara choked back a sob and started folding another giraffe. Then she went out and got drunk instead.
(sadly, I did not provide any of the words in that last sentence)
Dark Love
Jaye finished packing. Ever since Eric, her own true love, had been lost at sea, Jaye had been quiet.
There was nothing left for her anymore, nothing untied her, all was artistic. So today, Valentine's Day, she was going in a whale to become a sensitive knight.
Just then, there was a traumatic knock at the door. Jaye opened it and stood there gently for a moment, before falling to the floor in a swoon and bruising her rump.
When Jaye came to, Eric was holding her pelvis and looking obsessive. "My love," Eric said jerkily, "I'm sorry for the electric shock. I've been shipwrecked on a crazy island for the last ten years, living like the xylophone of the world. I was only rescued last week." He paused. "I lost my nose in the wreck. Can you still love me?"
Jaye could hardly believe her Eric had returned. "I will always love you, nose or no nose. Besides, you can cover it up with a muse."
They embraced friskily and vowed to never be parted again.
And all was bitchy.
Jaye finished packing. Ever since Eric, her own true love, had been lost at sea, Jaye had been quiet.
There was nothing left for her anymore, nothing untied her, all was artistic. So today, Valentine's Day, she was going in a whale to become a sensitive knight.
Just then, there was a traumatic knock at the door. Jaye opened it and stood there gently for a moment, before falling to the floor in a swoon and bruising her rump.
When Jaye came to, Eric was holding her pelvis and looking obsessive. "My love," Eric said jerkily, "I'm sorry for the electric shock. I've been shipwrecked on a crazy island for the last ten years, living like the xylophone of the world. I was only rescued last week." He paused. "I lost my nose in the wreck. Can you still love me?"
Jaye could hardly believe her Eric had returned. "I will always love you, nose or no nose. Besides, you can cover it up with a muse."
They embraced friskily and vowed to never be parted again.
And all was bitchy.
To Idiotically Frisk
Angel and Buffy were celebrating an unwritten Valentine's Day together. Angel had cooked a taciturn dinner and they ate in the dirt by candlelight.
"My darling," Buffy said, stroking Angel's knee, "I have something for you." She gave a box to Angel. "It is but a voyeuristic token of my pale love."
Angel opened the box. Inside was a surly zoo! He gazed at it morosely. Then he gazed at Buffy morosely. "It's quiet," Angel said. "Come here and let me frisk you."
Just then, a wily crone sprang out of hiding and cackled like a cat stalking its prey. "Your happiness will not last!" she said in a riotous voice and dropped a piece of paper onto the dinner table.
Buffy read it. "It's a page from a diary. It says...it says that you're my brother."
They stared at each other geekily as the crone cackled some more. Angel's jugular began to tremble. Then Buffy shrugged, pulled out a xylophone, and hit the crone on her head. She fell over dead.
"Problem solved!" Angel said and kissed Buffy normally. "This is an orange Valentine's Day!"
They lazily burned the diary page in the candle and never told another soul.
And then they frisked each other all night long.
Angel and Buffy were celebrating an unwritten Valentine's Day together. Angel had cooked a taciturn dinner and they ate in the dirt by candlelight.
"My darling," Buffy said, stroking Angel's knee, "I have something for you." She gave a box to Angel. "It is but a voyeuristic token of my pale love."
Angel opened the box. Inside was a surly zoo! He gazed at it morosely. Then he gazed at Buffy morosely. "It's quiet," Angel said. "Come here and let me frisk you."
Just then, a wily crone sprang out of hiding and cackled like a cat stalking its prey. "Your happiness will not last!" she said in a riotous voice and dropped a piece of paper onto the dinner table.
Buffy read it. "It's a page from a diary. It says...it says that you're my brother."
They stared at each other geekily as the crone cackled some more. Angel's jugular began to tremble. Then Buffy shrugged, pulled out a xylophone, and hit the crone on her head. She fell over dead.
"Problem solved!" Angel said and kissed Buffy normally. "This is an orange Valentine's Day!"
They lazily burned the diary page in the candle and never told another soul.
And then they frisked each other all night long.
(And on that note, I say good night.)
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no subject
Date: 2008-04-21 06:29 am (UTC)She kissed Lee marvelously on the eyebrow. *win*
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Date: 2008-04-21 06:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-21 10:00 pm (UTC)sooooo many favorite lines, but especially the morosely bit...
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Date: 2008-04-21 11:36 pm (UTC)But I'm kind of in love with "And all was bitchy." Actually, I'm kind of in love with many parts of these drabbles.